Episode 3 - Reasons Why Kids...
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[00:00:00] The 3 Topics Discussing in Episode
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Emma: Hi, I'm Emma. Welcome back to The Final Mile Podcast. And today's episode is Reasons Why Kids...
Sawyer: And I'm Sawyer. And the three topics we're going to be discussing today is one, reasons why kids are confused about death, and two, why kids don't hear about death, and three, why kids are scared to talk about death.
[00:00:21] Kids Being Confused About Death and Why Kids May Not Hear About Death
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Sawyer: So Emma, earlier we were talking a little bit about an experience you had with a friend in elementary school. Do you want to share what that experience was?
Emma: Yeah, so when I was in probably first grade one of my best friends lost her dog and she came to school the next day and he became her imaginary friend. She would walk around. She'd be like, oh Milo's right here. She could pet Milo and like all this stuff, but he like wasn't there. So it was like her way of trying to, I think, comprehend his death because as like children, I feel like we're very confused and we don't know what it is and it's a lot of gray area that's not what you're grown up hearing about.
Sawyer: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I could see that being as a kid as like a common coping method. To try to keep the animal in their lives and being confused that death is permanent. At that age, I definitely think it's a hard concept to grasp. Well, I guess, I guess at any age, really, like people don't know what happens after death. Like you said, it's that gray area. So I guess it's kind of a hard concept to grasp for anyone, but yeah, especially at that young age.
[00:01:36] Why Kids Might Be Scared About Death
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Sawyer: Okay, so moving past high school and talking about high school and high schoolers. So, why might kids be scared to talk about death?
Emma: I think that they might be scared to talk about it first of all, for themselves. Because when the person who is dying is declining, most people will just deny it and say they're like, oh, they're gonna get better. It's all gonna get better. But so then when they actually do die, it hits you all at once because everything that you've been like denying and you haven't been like, accepting and being able to allow the grief to come in. So the grief all hits you at one point, which is a scary thing to deal with. And I think also that they don't want to talk to anyone about it. And they're scared to talk to people because they don't want to make them sad or have, or like affect other people negatively. So, do you have any experiences with that?
Sawyer: So, I actually have an experience with making, uh, about the making, touching on the making of the sad part. So, a few months ago, we had to put my dog down. And, right, so my dad let me know that we only, there's only a few more days left. And so the day before we did it, I wanted to stay home from school and just spend time with them. So I emailed my, like the attendance person, or I don't think it was the whole day of school. It was like the first few periods or something. So I emailed my attendance lady, like, oh, I'm not going to be here for school. I just told her like, why I was like, honestly, like, just, I want to spend time with my dog who we're going to have to put down later that night or the next night. And then I walked into the school. And she comes out of her little room and over to talk to me and she's just balling and she's like, I can't remember exactly what she said, but she was super sad about it. And like, even in that moment, like I wasn't crying, but she was. And she was like, in that moment, she was more emotional than me. So yeah, that's an experience. I had that telling someone made them sad.
Emma: Yeah, I can definitely relate to that story. I know like telling people, it almost makes you feel relieved. I know when my grandfather passed, my mom told my closest friends and I didn't even know she told them. But in hindsight, it definitely made me feel more relieved that they knew. And it's nice knowing that they know, and knowing that the support is there. I think it helps a lot with the grieving process.
Sawyer: Yeah. And then instead of you telling them and having to go through those emotions again and seeing how they react. Yeah. I could see how you could feel relieved.
Emma: Yeah.
[00:04:22] Episode's Take Home Message, Question, or Challenge
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Emma: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Final Mile Podcast. After each episode, we like to leave you with a challenge, question, or takeaway.
Sawyer: Yep. And so today's question is going to be, what is one piece of advice that you would tell your younger self about dealing with grief? And so Emma, what is one piece of advice you would tell your younger self?
Emma: I would tell my younger self to not be afraid to let other people help you deal with it. What about you?
Sawyer: I'd probably just say take your time. Like everyone deals with grief and things in life just differently and everyone reacts. Yeah. Everyone reacts and deals with it differently. So I think it's kind of your journey. So take your time with whatever you're dealing with.
Sawyer: So yeah, to conclude our episode, we'd like you all to think about one thing, [Music playing in background] one piece of advice that you would tell your younger self when dealing with grief.
Sawyer: Thank you all.
Emma: Bye.
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