Episode 1 - Remember Kids Are People Too
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[00:00:00] Introduction to Episode 1
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[00:00:00] Emma: Hi, I'm Emma, a senior in high school in California. Sawyer: And I'm Sawyer, also a senior in high school in Washington state. Emma: Welcome to our very first podcast, The Final Mile with our first episode. Kids are people too. Sawyer: So let's get into it.
[00:00:19] Emma's First Experience With Death
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Sawyer: Hi everyone. Welcome to Emma and I's first episode on our first ever podcast. And in today's episode, we're going to be discussing death, experiencing death as a kid and as a parent, how to approach that. So Emma, when was the first time that you experienced death?
Emma: Well, growing up, I had a lot of really old animals. So the first time I experienced it, I was probably like too young to even remember. But it was never, I mean, at least my parents never really like sugarcoated anything. We'd sit with the animal and we just sit with them until they passed and it was all very transparent. And it was sad, but it was also kind of like nice because I remember like one of my cat, Every other cat was laying in a circle around him. And it was just kind of like beautiful just like seeing everyone like loving him till the end.
Sawyer: Nice. Do you remember what your like initial reaction to that was? If you like, like, no, no, no, this can't happen. Or do you remember how you felt about that?
Emma: Well, being so young, I think I didn't really understand exactly what was going on. Like, my mom was crying, so like, I knew it was sad, but I didn't really like, I don't feel like I fully grasped it, which was almost kind of, I don't know, kind of like better because I was just like there and not like dwelling on it. I was kind of just like in the moment more.
[00:02:01] Sawyer's First Experience With Death
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Emma: So what was your first experience with that?
Sawyer: Like, yeah, so growing up, my family had three cats and two of them passed away when I was like a toddler. So I was pretty young and kind of like your situation. I don't understand like what the change was or what the impact was for me. And so my dad's a veterinarian and hearing what happened now. So my mom tells me that My dad took the cats away to euthanize them. But like at the time, if you tried to explain that to me, it's not anything I would grasp or be able to comprehend. But more recently, I think the first time that death impacted me, like that I could remember was, I think it was on fourth grade, one of my cats got killed from a coyote and I, I still remember I was driving home with my dad and my brother. We were in the car and he was just like, Oh, I have to tell you guys something. Like. Daisy got eaten by a coyote. Like it was, there was nothing to it. That's just, he went straight for it. And that's kind of just what he told us. And then I remember I was super sad and I cried for a while. Cause I was like the first time that death kind of like affected my emotions or it's like where I can understand it.
Sawyer: So yeah, that was, that was my first time.
Sawyer: And I also think like telling her straight exactly like what happened was probably like a healthy thing, a good thing for us because like at a young age, especially like your mind can take you, you know, as far and be like, Oh, did she run away? Like what happened to her? So I think like not sugarcoating and telling us exactly what happened kind of gave us closure and like the ability to move forward.
Emma: That's good. I've never had a traumatic experience like that, so I'm sure as a kid that was hard to deal with, but knowing what happened is better than not knowing, especially at like a young age.
[00:04:09] How To Approach Death With Kids
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Sawyer: Okay. So for our next question, Emma reflecting on how your parents like approach death with you for the first time, how should parents, how do you think parents should approach it with their kids?
Emma: I think that parents should be straight up and honest with their kids as they would with any other adult, because I know growing up with me and just like all of my friends, I know it's all been very transparent, like anytime someone's animal has died or anyone has died just helps for the kids to understand death. I feel like, and in a sense, I know with me, it almost made me feel more mature when I was little, which is a good feeling when you're a little kid, like you want to feel grown up. And so your parents letting you get to feel those emotions at that age, I feel like it's good for them.
Sawyer: And Adding on to that, do your parents ever make you feel judged for how you reacted or how you felt, or maybe from your friends too?
Emma: No, they never did. Growing up, I was always like the person that my friends would talk to when their animal died. So just because I had so much experience with animal death, which made me feel really good, but it also gets to the point where I feel like parents should be honest, but also sensitive because I know one time, my parents told me that our cat died and we were in the middle of a restaurant and I obviously cried and I was like, you knew I was going to cry in a restaurant. So it's kind of, you should definitely be honest, but also sensitive.
Sawyer: Right.
Emma: Kids are very sensitive.
Sawyer: Be aware. Yeah.
[00:06:02] 3 Main Points On Talking to Kids About Death
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Emma: Sawyer, what are some main points that you think parents should take away when talking to their kids about that?
Sawyer: Good question. Yeah, three main points that parents should focus on are so to not judge their kids on how they react, their kids are experiencing denial, and feelings and emotions that their kids may be going through.
Sawyer: So I can speak a little bit on the denial part for myself. My dog who lived to be close to 16, he passed away like a month and a half ago. And he was like our family dog. Since I was in like third grade, he was my family's dog and they moved here and I like grew to love him and I became really attached to him and he was my dog. So they grew up with him for a little bit longer than me, at least my step siblings, and so when it came time to put them down, so my dad and stepmom euthanized them at home. And when it came time to put them down, really painful for me, and it was like really sad. And that was like the first time, like I've seen an animal being put down like in front of me, especially at my own house.
Sawyer: So that was a very different experience. And so we're at home. And it was me, my stepbrother, my dad and stepmom all at home. And we're all spending time with them like in the living room that night. And then, like, after a while, they're like, okay, guys, like, we got to do this sooner rather than later. And then I had to take them back to the clinic.
Sawyer: And after a while, my stepbrother was like, okay, I think I'm ready. And I didn't really speak up, but, like, inside, I was like, no, no, like, I can't, I can't be ready for this. Like, I could never be ready. So, like, I kind of just had to go with it. But, like, inside, I was like, no, no, no, like, this doesn't feel right.
Sawyer: And then just, like, sitting there with them, like bawling my eyes out, like while he was being euthanized, like, I was still just like, like, no, no, no, this doesn't feel right. Yeah. I, I'd say I experienced some denial with that.
Emma: That must've been tough. How did your parents deal with it?
Sawyer: Well, I guess we all kind of like, he was getting to be pretty old. So we all kind of saw it coming. And I think them especially like, cause they're always home with them. And so there's some kind of his life kind of decline. So like they knew it was about time. So I think they were kind of ready for it more than I was, but I think it was still very emotional inside.
Emma: Yeah.
[00:08:42] Remember Kids Are People Too
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Sawyer: Okay. So another thing that we want to leave all the parents with is to remember that your kids are people too. And so the reason we named this episode after that phrase, it was just because we think it's really important for parents to talk to their kids, how they would want to be approached about death.
Sawyer: So straightforward and it's better for your kids to find out the truth from you rather than from their friends at school or other parents or, you know, other resources, whatever, whoever, and it's also for them to understand and grasp the concept sooner rather than when they grow up and find out that just everything that their parents said to them was like sugarcoated or potentially a lie.
Sawyer: So yeah, do you have anything to add Emma?
Emma: Yeah, just if there's kids listening right now, just know that if you have questions, you should ask your parent, because They might not be bringing it up to you because they might not know that you're ready to hear it.
Sawyer: Yeah.
Emma: Now, just ask your parent, uh, to get honest answers.
Sawyer: Good. Thank you.
[00:09:52] Episode's Take Home Message, Question, or Challenge
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Sawyer: Okay. So something we're going to do in each of our episodes is the last thing we're going to leave you all with something to think about or a question [00:10:00] to discuss. And so we have a question for y'all today. And so Emma, what is our question?
Emma: Our question today is for kids to ask their parents or parents to ask their kids. What is something that you learned from today's episode?
Sawyer: Yeah. Great. [Sawyer laughs]
[00:10:19] Episode 1 Closing & Thank You!
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Emma: Thank you guys for tuning in. If you have any questions, just ask us or if you have any feedback, we'd love to hear it.
Sawyer: Yep. And that's all we have for you today. [Music playing in the background] So thank you so much for tuning in to our very first episode on our very first podcast, and make sure you tune in to next time's episode. Thank you.
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